Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Laugh If You Want To But I'm Not Ashy

Once a week I talk to one of my friends from high school. Last night she laughed at me and said that I sound like an old grandmother with homemade remedies. Well, she can laugh if she wants to, they work and I'm not ashy.


The conversation:

N: (To her daughter) I think that is excema, we will have to find something to put on it.
Me: I have just the thing for you. Moisture Max it is good for excema, burns, dry skin, rashes, and chapped lips.
N: Really...? Oh, we might have to try that. Wait a minute, isn't that for your hair.
Me: I barely use it for my hair anymore. But, I do have a big pump that is good for excema, burns, dry skin, rashes, and chapped lips. 32 oz...$10. That's all you need. It will last your family half the year.
N: You sound like somebodies old grandmother with a made up remedy.
Me: Okay, keep laughing. I've been carrying Moisture Max all over the US leaving at the homes of friends with dry, flaky, itching children who are happy to have it!
N: And, this really works?
Me: Just try it and you will be calling like everybody else, whispering about the power of Lustrasilk.
N: Mmmm...I will have to see about that.
Me: Moisture Max by Lustrasilk! I should make a commercial.

I then started to tell her about my other sure fire remedies like using Carmex on your cuticles to soften them and instantly dissolve hang nails. Later, I'll tell you all the things I can do with Windex and don't get me started talking about vinegar.

10 comments:

graceling said...

Windex--- have you seen "My Big Fat Greek Wedding"?

Holly said...

That is EXACTLY what I was thinking- Big Fat Greek Wedding!! ha ha ha!
Be careful WHAT you do with Windex as it is yucky chemicals!! I can't imagine spraying it on a pimple!
Carmex on cuticles, eh? Hmmmm. I just leave my cuticles and hope nobody notices!!

Handlyrics said...

That is funny.

Nancy said...

Bag Balm is great for cuticles too! ... and have you heard how great Duct Tape is for many a woe? -- like warts -- not that any of US will ever have to worry about that!

VALARIE - Single, Ethiopian-bound, mother-to-be of two bright-eyed Ethio children. said...

Holly. Just a note. I use Windex as a cleaning product. I'd never put it on or in my body, but I do drink vinegar.

graceling said...

I think Vicks and Neosporin cure just about all of my ails. Cough? Chapped lips? Cut? Dry/bleeding nose? Dry skin?

Little bit of Vicks and a little bit of neosporin and you are all fixed up!

As for the windex in "MBFGW" Do you all remember the scene where he is soaking his elbow in a bowl of windex?:)

VALARIE - Single, Ethiopian-bound, mother-to-be of two bright-eyed Ethio children. said...

Grace that really did make me laugh. I do remember him soaking his elbow and it reminds of an old boyfriends father. He was in his 70s when we were in college. He believed in using after shave on everything. I remember going to the house complaining about mosquito bites, he wanted to lather me up with Aqua Velva. I was against it but he persisted. I hate to tell you but I did stop itching.

Tami said...

Hilarious!

Anna said...

I will have to try this with my daughter as "lotion" is a constant issue of contention. Are there animal by-products in moisturemax?

VALARIE - Single, Ethiopian-bound, mother-to-be of two bright-eyed Ethio children. said...

Hi Anna. There are no animal products in Moisture Max. It has panthenol, jojoba oil, vitamin E

Original Court Date: April 18, 2009
Final Court Date: May 18, 2009
[607 total days & 165 days w/IAN]