Thursday, April 16, 2009

My Biological Clock is Ticking

You may have noticed that my court date clock stopped ticking at about 10am this morning, but it seems that my biological clock is still ticking and I thank God for that. As my mother would say if time keeps passing and you're not getting older it means that you are dead. Well, I am alive! I wish that I had more exciting news to share with you today but the waits not yet over. My case was heard and they yet need more information. I was determined to not allow the news to overtake me and I've held together pretty well.

The song that I heard over and over in my head today was, "I Still Have Joy". After all that I've been through, I still have joy. I reflected on my favorite chapter of the bible, Philippians 4 and on days like this I have to remember that the scripture says that I know how to live in abundance and how to live without but for whatever state I am in I know to be content. If I thought it would help, I'd scream and shout about how unfair it is but life is not fair nor is favor. I went through a list of songs like, "Ain't No Need to Worry," and "It's Been Along Time Coming."

I even found myself singing, "I've had some good days, and I've had some hills to climb. I've had some weary days, and some sleepless nights. But when I look around and when I think things over, you know my good days outweigh my bad days so I won't complain. -- And then I ask the Lord why so much pain. But I found out that he knows what's best for me although my weary eyes don't see. So, I'll say thank you Lord, I won't complain."

Then I played my Marvin Sapp stand by "Have you ever had a need that He did not meet or a situation and He did not come through? There's no question of Your greatness, nor searching of your power. Of the wonder of Your glory, to You 40 years is but one hour. Your knowledge is all encompassing and too your wisdom there is no end...Be all glory and honor, dominion and power for ever and ever, amen." I even sang a couple of lines of Mary J. Blige, I'm not gonna cry.

In the end I decided that it is my favorite gospel song of all times that fits me today that says, "What do you do when you've done all you can, seems like it's never enough? Tell me what do you say when friends walk away and you're alone? Tell me what do you give when you've given your all and you can't make it through? Well, you just stand when there's nothing left to do, you stand and watch the Lord see you through. After you've done all you can do then you just stand. How can you smile when your heart has been broken and so filled with pain? What do you do when you've done all that you can and it seems like you can't make it through? You just stand, don't you dare give up. Through the storm, through the rain, through the heartache, through the pain. Don't you bow, don't you bend, don't give up, don't give in. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. After you've done all you can, just stand."

So let's not get to down. Let's look forward and shout for what will be! I need you guys to prop me up just a little and let's try to celebrate what will come.

13 comments:

Michelle W said...

Valerie,
I'm so sorry the courts are still needing more for your case. But I do want you to know that your post today has done me a world of good. I needed to be reminded that no matter what HE is here and present for me, my little boy in Ethiopia and everyone who is hurting, hoping, waiting, longing, thanking loving and rejoicing. No matter the troubles there is joy in each moment of each day if you just look. I have followed your blog for months and often find the hope I needed to continue on the journey and cope the past loses. I'm sorry that your wait continues I will pray that your wait is short and issues are resolved promptly. Many thanks, Michelle W.

The Andersons said...

Excellent post, Valerie. Thank you for sharing. Praying for your comfort and continued witness of contentment.

Gracie's Mom said...

This just means that you'll have a BIGGER celebration when you do finally get the news. This is a common small setback, a teaser if you will. The NEWS is coming, but you know that already because He will never bring you this far to leave you. Praise, Praises, Praises.

kristine said...

We are all here standing here with you. i sometimes think we go through these things to give us more opportunities to reach out and love each other.

And one day I'll reach out to you long after your children are home and you are happy weary with their presence and you'll be there standing strong for me.

Friend, they will be with you soon, even if 'soon' feels now like an eternity.

And when they finally are there will be some world wide celebration!

Kerri said...

Stay strong and positive. They will come home!

everybitterthingissweet said...

Valerie -- Nate and I have been praying for you today (not even yet knowing this continued wait). I LOVE your post ... you are lifting your EYES to the mountains, where your help comes from. He is enough for you and His heart is for rescuing the orphan! Praying that He would sustain you as you wait ... and knowing that He will!
-Sara

waitingarms said...

You are amazing - it would have been totally understandable for you to be dissapointed and upset. However, you chose not to let the news get you down, but instead kept your eyes on Him who will give you the desires of your heart. You asked us to hold you up, but instead, you are showing us that it is a choice how we react to situations beyond our control. Praying that this last hurdle is resolved soon and that your children will be home soon. You are a great mom and your children will make this world a better place because they will be trained up well.

Blessings.

Jennifer said...

What a great attitude. I am sorry today was not the day, but I know it will be soon and we will be praying for you and your children.

Queen Diva said...

Keep your head up!

Soon the wait will all be past issues and you will have your children at home with you. The Father says look to Him for all things, so it is in Him we should depend on.

I'm waiting for your BIG day!

Andrea

haze said...

I love your spirit, Valarie.

We are all hanging in there with you.

Anonymous said...

The wait will soon be over. Seems like the courts/MOWA are being thorough. That's a good thing. Those 2 will be home soon, I just know it. Hold on, just a little bit longer.

Jan

Eastiopians said...

Your time is coming! It was already determined long before you even started this process. Just hold onto your faith and wait for your day.

"If it seems slow, be patient! For it will surely take place. It will not be late by a single day."
-Habakkuk 2:3

Thinking of you,
Theresa

Martha said...

Valerie,

I found your blog early on in my own Ethiopian adoption process and have continued to follow. I'm sorry for your delays and your positive attitude is inspiration. Getting the paperwork accurate is good thing about adopting from Ethiopia. I am still waiting to get through court myself for a 6 year old daughter. In March, a name was missing and needed to be added. I'm now stuck in bureaucratic thing related to my agency and change in power of atty. Hopefully all children will be home soon. Sending good thoughts your way.

Original Court Date: April 18, 2009
Final Court Date: May 18, 2009
[607 total days & 165 days w/IAN]