What does my header say? Follow me on the journey and a journey it has been. I just wasn't sure how much I wanted to share. I also felt like I needed to take a few steps back and take a lot of deep, deep breaths.
So here is a brief update. Many details will be filled in later.
- I started the process in August of 2007. I chose my agency applied and officially went on the wait list January 5, 2008. I settled in for what was to be my 0-6 month wait.
- On Wednesday, April 30,2008 my agency and I came to a big impassable fork in the road. We officially parted ways on Monday, May 5, 2008 -- four months into the wait.
- I had some concerns early on (December), considered switching agencies but having just finished the paper chase and sending off the dossier, It was too much to think about starting over with another agency. Lessons Learned: An agency might be a great one but what's good for some may not be good for you. Trust your instincts.
- I began the process again and had to find another agency. What was immediately evident was that I had learned a great deal over my months in the process. Earlier I didn't know any better, I really didn't know the questions to ask. It was interesting talking to agencies and hearing the things that some of them said. Lessons Learned: What matters at the beginning of the process is not what matters in the middle or the end. Trust your instincts.
- So, believe it or not I talked to probably 10 agencies. Some didn't even exist when I started the process, some I would never have considered at the beginning. My needs were different, what mattered most to me was open communication. You will find that even bad news is better than no news or being pacified but people who don't think that you can "handle the truth." Lessons Learned: Ask all the questions that you need to ask and realize that the quality of the answer or NO answer speaks LOUDLY. Trust your instincts.
- I narrowed my choice to two agencies. I abandoned those two and I selected a waiting children's program. I selected two amazing children and began the new process. Application and fees paid, dossier documents prepared only to find out that the children weren't actually available. I was offered (I think) four sets in their place, however they may or may not be any more available than the last two. Having learned my lesson, I spent no more time on that program. Lessons Learned: Ask more questions about how and when children are referred. We focus so much on our paperwork but are the children paper ready?
- I stepped back took a couple of deep breaths and went back to my first choice. I started over. This is the right choice for me and I am only sad that I didn't choose them earlier. Application filed, fees paid, dossier documents prepared and sent off. Lesson Learned: Trust your instincts.