I have always assumed that adopting two children at once that they would be siblings. Some one asked me recently if I would consider adopting two children at the same time that are not biological siblings. I guess my first answer is why not? I'd never thought much about it because many of the agencies prohibit it.
Like everything in adoption there are a lot of opinions. I actually read an article that accused parents who adopt unrelated children of rushing to build a family without any understanding of child development. It said that the parents were thinking only of their own needs and not those of the children. Another article I read accused agencies that would allow the practice of being unethical.
Here's what I've heard or read and the questions I have:
- Adopting unrelated siblings does not give the children the individual attention that they need to adjust to a new family and the culture. Would this be different if they were biologically related?
- The children may not get along, they may be adjusting to liking a new mother and then have to adjust to a new sibling too. Will they get along if they are siblings? Won't they each have their own adjustment to me as a new mother either way?
- Adopting siblings provides support for each child in a way that unrelated children cannot. Siblings probably come with some of the same family traditions and habits, but won't two children from Ethiopia share those similarities related or not more than the Ethiopian children will share with existing children in the US family?
- They share no actually family bond. Do our adopted children share an actual family bond or are we attempting to create one? How are these unrelated siblings different than the unrelated sibling situations created with existing children?
- The children or one child may have attachment issues or other psychological issues that need to be addressed. Would this be the case for a single child or one or both of a biological sibling pair?
- The child's needs should come first and it is complicated with these artificial sibling bonds. How much do we talk about the difficulty of children who are adopted as singles but have left behind siblings that they have grown up with?
- Another though just came to mind...what about biological siblings that are being adopted that don't have the same mother and father.
Here are two articles. Article 1 or Article 2