Sunday, May 18, 2008

Why Are You Adopting?

After being in this community for so long, I've heard many different reasons given for why people (should) adopt. Some talk about saving children and others talk about wanting to parent. I'm sure that both factor into the decision in some way.

I'd love to see at least 100 votes. Feel free to link to the survey.


Katy said...

Other. Although I might fit into: So many orphans who need homes, And struggle with fertility. I can get pregnant, but having lost a baby at 5 months pregnant for no good reason, I don't feel like it. Babies need homes, so why not do it that way? That's my "other". Its kind of a combo reason. I bet lots of people have combo reasons.

Anonymous said...

Other. Having grown up with 2 brothers who are adopted, Adoption just seemed like a 'natural' way to grow a family. I've given birth: vaginally, by c-section, and by adoption. I wouldn't trade any of the experiences. We have lots of love and want to have more children. I don't care to be pregnant again. It's just a way to grow our family. Selfish???? Probably Altruistic??? Isn't that mutually exclusive of Selfish? Perhaps one reason we chose ET over other countries because we saw a greater need. I do not know. After awhile, the line becomes blurred and all you know, is this is right for your family and hopefully right for the child you adopt and make a part of your family.


graceling said...

Valarie, it's interesting. As others have commented, I fall into multiple categories. I chose "I am single and want to parent" because that is a huge part of why I growing my family through adoption at this point in time. I do think that I may have more biological children if my circumstances alter, but at this point, I want more kids, and adoption is the way for me to do that.

At the same time, I do feel that God has led me to this point and ordained circumstances so that adoption would be the clear choice at this point in time. In that regard, I feel a specific call on my life to adopt.

Finally, I have always felt as though if I could, I would love and give a home to as many children as possible. I remember when Abigail was just a few weeks old, sitting at home and watching the news. For whatever reason, several babies were "thrown away" over the course of the weeks following Abigail's birth. I was exhausted, physically and emotionally, and I had no clue how to do this parenting thing, but I would sit there and cry to God, "Please, God, I don't know how I would do it, but let me take care of that baby instead of having it be thrown away!" I remember thinking "there is no way that I could possibly raise another child right now." But at the same time, my heart was so broken for the precious children that were in need of homes, families, and love, that even though I couldn't see a way to do it, I would have taken in and loved another child in a heartbeat. So I guess you could say I also fall into "So many orphans who need homes."

Like Jan said, the line becomes blurred.

VALARIE - Single, mother-to-be of two bright-eyed Ethio children. said...

We all have stories don't we. Funny how so many different life experiences lead us to this place. I've started these adoption surveys and I learn so much every time. Thanks for sharing.

Verbenabeth said...

Hi Valarie,

We adopted because our children just happened to be born in Ethiopia and we were TOLD that's where they were. (Not being a particularly religious person, but very spiritual, I won't say that God told me. However it was like my husband and I were slugged with a large 2-person brick at the same time!) Now, it seems like they were meant to be ours. We do still share them with our Ethiopian family, but they were born for me I know.

Anonymous said...

I am in that other category. I have always just known two things, 1) I would be the parent of twins, and 2)I would adopt.

I was pregnant once. I was shocked, as I had thought that I would have difficulties conceiving and never thought that I would be pregnant. I was certain, however, that after getting pregnant I was going to have twins, and remember being very confused when I only heard one heartbeat. I kept thinking, "where is the other one?" There were many complications, I got very ill, nearly died, and we lost the baby at 15 weeks. It took almost a full year for me to recover and regain my health.

The whole experience was heartbreaking...I can't quite explain how it feels to be a parent missing a child that was never born. It seemed appropriate for us to adopt children who had lost their parents. I know that this is overly simplistic view of adoption now, but at the time, it was how we felt.

A coworker had just begun the adoption process, and told me about the adoption programs available through her agency. As soon as she said Ethiopia, I just knew that my children were there, and when I talked with my husband later that day he felt the same way. We decided to adopt from Ethiopia and submitted our dossier for a sibling group under the age of 4 (since my stepson was 5), and received a referral for twin infants.

I was not surprised to receive a referral for twins, but I was totally shocked that they were infants. There are some things you simply are not meant to know.


Kristine said...

I don't have time for a long comment but I just wanted to say that I LOVE your blog! I'm on the Ethiopian adopt blog and saw your comments there.

I'll comment later but just a quick - thank-you! - for blogging and sharing your wonderful voice on adoption. Already it's powerful!

I'll keep you in our prayers.

Kristine (NY)

Kristine said...

Other. I don't know the 'why' of it. I just knew that at least one of my children was going to be far away and I would have to search - but that they were mine and I would be bringing them home where they belonged. I have one biological son and we are just starting adoption process for our youngest and last child.

Original Court Date: April 18, 2009
Final Court Date: May 18, 2009
[607 total days & 165 days w/IAN]