Neither Chick Nor Child

My mother was a funny lady. She was hilarious but not necessarily on purpose. She was direct and didn't waste her time on too many superfluous conversations. She had a saying for every occasion and I'm not sure that she didn't make some up on the spot. Whenever I think of things that she used to say, I try to write them because I don't want to forget. One of my friends says that once the kids are here it will all come back.

Here are a few:

1. To people who had no children but wanted to offer advice to those who did, she would simply say, "they have neither chick nor child so..."
2. To people who were constantly talking about God she would say, "Always remember that even the devil could quote scripture. Impress me by showing me the word in action."
3. To anyone who felt that they were being falsely accused or talked about by others, she would simply remind you, "They talked about Jesus didn't they? I heard they even nailed him to the cross. You don't think you are any better than him, do you?
   
4. Her continual warning to her children had two parts, "Whatever you do in the dark will always come to light." It always did. "You might get by but you will never get away."
5. My mother was always curious about people who didn't want to discuss their age. To that she'd say, "Tell it! If you're not getting older you're dead, so to me it beats the alternative." I'll be 42 in two weeks! Thank God! It beats the alternative.
   
6. My mother didn't believe in quitting and would say, "Nothing beats a failure but a try."
7. To any of her children showing disrespect, she couldn't just say that. Instead, my mother would say or sing, "I pay the costs to be the boss at 3052." Our old address.
   
8. When I graduated from college she let me know that, "God never created a roof big enough to cover two grown women. Every woman needs her own place." This might have been a shock if I hadn't always heard that it was my job to take care of me and that there was not enough pretty to cover a full month's rent.
   
9. My mother cautioned that, "Nothing in life is ever free make sure you understand the cost and that you are prepared to pay them."
10. When she was stumped (not often) and couldn't think of anything else to say, she would say, "I don't know what to tell you. Pray about. God has all the answers not me!"
11. If you disagreed with her assessment of a situation she would tell you, "Keep living and then come back and tell me about it."
12. To children teetering between a truth and a lie she would always tell you, "If you tell the truth, you never have to remember what you said."
    
13. Then there were the (more normal) one's that we probably have all heard. A bird in the hand beats two in the bush. Little pictures have big ears. Your eyes are bigger than your stomach. Never let the right hand, know what the left hand is doing. God does not like ugly and two wrongs never made a right.
    

One that sticks with me the most happened my second year of college. Maybe a week before I returned to school we received a letter saying that I had no financial aid for the semester. I asked my mother what we were going to do, she told me calmly and simply, "We are going to pack the car, I'm going to take you there and drop you off. Stay there until we figure out what to do or they put you out." That was her straight forward way of teaching faith and hope. I went, it got figured out, and they didn't put me out.