On naming your children and even on telling your families about your plans to adopt who and from where, here is the rule I've always used for myself. I never discuss my decisions with anyone until I've done my own research and have made a decision based upon what makes sense for me and my life. By the time I tell anyone anything about my plans I am so committed and sure about what I want to do that other people's comments don't even phase me. I sometimes find there thoughts interesting or humorous but in most cases people that you are pouring your feelings out to:
- Will not have to live with any of the ramifications of your decision.
- Aren't really that vested in the process.
- Have so many issues to deal with in their own lives that this is nothing but idle chatter for them and they never even give what they say a second thought while you are off worrying about it.
Today there is a man named Barak Obama and another man named Mitt (using his middle name) contending for the White House. There is a Secretary of State named Condeleeza and a congressman named Kweisi Mfume who gave up his American name to claim an African one. By contrast their are John's, Mary's and Jane's that haven't fared so well. Yes there are people who may look negatively on a name but always remember that if they do, the fact that they do speaks to their limitations as a person and not the limitations of the name or the child.
I think that there has to be a difference in sharing thoughts, plans, and ideas and looking to others for validation. This process is tough enough. We may always want support and excitement from others but we cannot expect it nor can we be upset when we don't get it.
My mother used to tell me when I was young, that when people come to you to talk about their issues, they are not really interested in your opinion they just want to be heard. I believe like in the stories that are often reported here that my mother was probably right...as usual.