Monday, July 21, 2008

Why Write a Blog?

Someone in the adoption community wrote that people should not take blogs written by adoptees, prospective or adoptive parents too seriously. The poster believes that the ONLY people who write blogs are those people on extreme ends of the spectrum. They are either too happy or too made to offer any information worth reading.

I started wondering what end of the spectrum I was on. I've been extremely happy, mad, sad,angry and just about every other emotion over the last 10 months. I don't think that I have extreme views (not always popular) but definitely not extreme.

So here are the 10 reasons that I write my blog:
  1. I can and it's free.

  2. It's easier to search through what I write on the blog than it is to search through 15 year stack of notebooks that I keep piled on my shelves.

  3. As I searched the web and found useful information too often I couldn't find the source again. I started this as a way to log information that I found useful for the adoption.

  4. People read it! Who knew? There have been almost 30,000 page views on my blog. When I started getting a lot of email saying that people thought it was helpful or they learned something, I felt a real responsibility for the type of information that I put out.

  5. It beats futile debates on adoption forums and scoldings from moderators. It gives me big platform to speak my mind without censoring. I do; however self-edit and have about 100 post in draft that weren't quite fit for worldwide distribution. wouldn't want to see those.

  6. It's fun to do! I've met amazing adoptive parents through this blog and we have laugh, yelled, and cried together and then laughed all over again. Thanks to you all and you know who you are.

  7. I've been able to track my progress and see how I've grown. I'm not any taller but I think my head is bigger from all the new knowledge. I've grown a lot.

  8. It allowed me to channel all of my restless energy, celebrate the small victories, and post YouTube videos of soul stirring gospel music. Of course I do have my soul Christmas and DJ hits as well.

  9. I thought I had something worthwhile to say and I didn't need anyone's permission to say it. I am also more than strong enough to shoulder any criticism that it brings. You have to take the good with the bad.

  10. I just wanted to. It's been so much fun.

I think that I write a blog that's informative, thoughtful, and reflective (there might even be a little humor now and then). In doing so, I felt a strong need it to show a respect for the children I wait for, the parents and the community that gave birth to them. I was conscious of never promoting an agency or judging the culture. I've been able to share my story and point of view without revealing the all of the personal and most intimate details of my life.

I love research and I love to write. For those who keep reading, you only encourage me. If you want me to shut up and go away, take a number, get in line. (The blogger types, wearing a big smile).


short term loan said...

Can you add some more photos?

short term loan

Anonymous said...

I have 2 blogs. One that tracks everyday life for my husband, me, and our 3 kids. The 2nd tracks our progress during the adoption of #4. I do it because our family is not close. My side is 8 hours away and DHs side is 4 hours away. We talk by fon once a week or more if necessary. We visit 2-3 times a year. They were missing out on my children and how they were growing. So, that's how it started. I'm generally a happy person but I don't count myself on an extreme one way or another. So not sure if I fit into the definition of 'adoption bloggers' Then again, I don't fit into many worlds that I live in. We plan on homeschooling. We are neither motivated by religion nor are we granolas in our reasoning for homeschooling. We don't fit into a lot of the adoption world. We aren't out to rescue a child. We do it because we want to grow our family that way. So again. we don't fit the 'mold' necessarily.

I really don't like putting people into pigeon holes. SO I write this book to say, I blog because I want to and that's good enough for me.


VALARIE said...

Jan, I LOVE IT! It's really great that you can use the blog and technology to connect to your family.


You go Valerie! I love reading your blog. Your posts are VERY creative and ORIGINAL. I've become a "Blog Addict" and I stalk many blogs "daily." Keep it coming, I love it!



You go Valerie! I love reading your blog. Your posts are VERY creative and ORIGINAL. I've become a "Blog Addict" and I stalk many blogs "daily." Keep it coming, I love it!


Aimee said...

Blog on! :)

VALARIE said...

Thanks Andrea and Aimee. Andrea I love reading your blog too. Your princess is adorable. Andrea's blog is one that I found early in my process and it really helps to follow along with families. Too blog or not to blog..? I'm gonna keep blogging.

kn said...

You know I love your blog and I still haven't had time to listen to the music!

Thank goodness for the internet and the ability to connect with wonderful people all over the world.

Thanks for the good vibes you add to the world. It's a better place because of you.

Elizabeth Lyons said...


Just came across your blog this evening. I'm off to pick up our daughter from Ethiopia this weekend. I THANK YOU for your wonderful writing and your candor. You're a wonderful resource in so many ways. Keep doing what you're doing!

Elizabeth Lyons

Isadora Stowe said...

Just my two cents- I love your blog- don't ever stop blogging :)

graceling said...

Valarie, you know I love your blog! I find your posts informative, insightful, and inspiring.

I think any time people are given a forum to freely speak their mind, that forum comes under fire. There is almost always editing of some kind (reality TV has lots, letters to the editor are not published, etc...) Blogging remains one of the most free forms of self-expression, and this, by nature, upsets anyone whose focus in life is to avoid "rocking the boat."

I've felt the sting of people who have diapproved of my blogs (yes, I have 3 blogs now!) but having done this blogging thing for a few years now,I still believe that it is great for me- a great way to foster my self-expression in a healthy and safe way, and great for me when I get to be a part of someone else's journey (adoption related or otherwise.)

Why we blog is a personal decision, but one thing is clear- blogging makes the world smaller. It helps us relate to others and share information and experienes. And those human connections are invaluable- even if they take place across broadband cables instead of over a cup of coffee.

Kerri said...

I'm a little late to the post but I also love blogging and reading blogs. I do have some extreme views about some things but not so much about adoption. My blog is a way to chronicle my journey to and with my two daughters. It's such a great outlet for all the joys and agonies that adoption and parenting bring. I love reading other blogs because it helps me remember that I'm not alone in the occasional craziness. I don't think i would have ever made it this long without my and many other blogs.
Kerri, Medina, and Ruby

Nancy said...

You are without contest my favorite blogger! Though I don't visit as often as I did before my kids came home (wonder why?!!!) I still love to see what is new. Reason number 1 is my fav ... because I can and it is free. That is alot of why I blog too. But also as another commenter said -- this is how I keep my family and friends up to date (and they DO want to know) on the kids and how they are doing. I can post photos without bogging down everyone's email. It is a great medium.


Garden Keeper said...

I am so glad you posted this on the Ethiopia adoption board. I think there is so much for Americans to learn about black culture. First, I have to say that I am seeking out more and more information as I journey through the Ethiopian adoption world as a caucasian person. First, let me say I am a bit angry at myself at my lack of knowledge. I work in Charlotte, NC for BOA and started to get heavily involved in diversity in my community here. It started with a vigil for the China earthquake victims (my daughter is Chinese), but then this has really struck me. What do we all know about one another, why is there so much divide? I, myself, yearn to learn more about people and I want to look back at myself to see why it is that it took our China adoption and now our Ethiopian adoption to become "interested" more in diversity. Shouldn't we all want to know more about each other and cultures, etc. I am in a wheelchair and I often think how "stupid" people can be when it comes to me. But that gets grouped into the whole diversity thing. I can't wait to learn more about black culture and I hope you keep sharing for all of us so that we can pass it along and share with those around you. I look forward to hearing more about the new Disney Princess, but I was a bit disturbed myself that they had her portrayed in such a way. How odd when there IS so much black history they could have gone to to form this character.

Original Court Date: April 18, 2009
Final Court Date: May 18, 2009
[607 total days & 165 days w/IAN]